


Finals Hell

by Pineapplemoon



Series: Boredom [11]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Humor, studying tips by Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21551398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineapplemoon/pseuds/Pineapplemoon
Summary: Diana stumbles onto a secret Neal is keeping from Peter.
Relationships: Diana Berrigan & Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Series: Boredom [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/907152
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	Finals Hell

Peter watches Neal from his office as the younger man yawns for the third time in as many minutes. He starts to pack his laptop and leaves for his lunch right at noon on the dot. Peter noticed he started doing this around the beginning of October. It’s the middle of December now and Peter’s starting to get worried since it looks like whatever he’s been up to is starting to affect his sleep. Peter gets up and calls Diana up to his office.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Diana asks as she closes his door.

“Yeah. I have a gut feeling Neal’s been up to something. It may be nothing, but-”

Diana crosses her arms and relaxes a little since this isn’t going to be an ‘official’ talk. “You notice that he’s been taking his laptop to lunch every day for the past couple months, too?”

Peter nods. “That, and he’s taken exactly hour long lunches and now he’s been tired the past couple days on top of it. Do you know anything about that?”

Diana shakes her head. “‘Fraid not. Jones and I have seen him in the coffee shop down the street a couple times, but that’s it. You want me to go ‘run into him’.” Diana does air quotes.

“Just make sure he’s not doing something he shouldn’t be?”

“No problem, boss.”

*line break*

Diana spots Neal on his laptop in the corner of the shop sipping on a coffee with his eyes glued to his screen. She buys a coffee for appearances and then walks over to where Neal is seated. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Neal’s head shoots up and he minutely tilts his screen away from Diana. “What are you doing here?” 

Diana gestures to the coffee. “On my break. What are you up to? Peter got you doing work over lunch?” She bends over to look at his screen, but Neal pulls the laptop away before she gets a good look.

“Yes! I mean, no. Not exactly. It’s... complicated?”

Diana just raises her eyebrows at him.

“That was a really bad lie wasn’t it?”

Diana sits down across from him. “My niece can lie better than that, and she’s three. What’s really going on?”

Neal chews on his lip as he thinks. “Do you promise not to tell Peter?”

“Is it illegal?”

“No.” He answers right away. “Completely above board.”

“Then sure. I promise not to tell Peter.”

“You can’t write it down either.”

Diana sighs, getting annoyed. “I promise, whatever you tell me will in no way get back to Peter. Now what is it?”

Neal takes a deep breath, then turns the computer to Diana. “I’ve been taking online classes from the local community college to get my GED.”

Diana smiles. “Neal, that’s great. Why are you keeping it from Peter though?”

Neal turns the computer back towards himself. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I also have a problem that maybe you can help me with. See, it’s finals week next week and-”

“Neal, I will not help you cheat.”

Neal shoots her a look. “This stuff is easy. It’s high school completion classes, not rocket science. The problem I have is that the campus is out of my ratius.”

Diana looks confused. “But they’re online classes anyway. The whole point is to do it away from campus.”

“And that’s what I thought, until I got this email from all my professors last week. To ensure there’s no cheating all finals are given supervised on campus.”

Diana is starting to understand. “You need someone to escort you to the campus to take the test since it’s out of you radius.”

“Exactly. Will you take me? Please?” Neal gives her his best puppy dog eyes.

“As much fun as it is to see you beg, I can’t.”

“But I need to go to pass.”

“I’m sorry, Neal, but only Peter can take you out of your radius. The only exception is if he gives another agent written permission, and even then we would have to tell him where we’re taking you.”

Neal sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Well, what am I supposed to do then?”

“The only way is to tell Peter the truth.”

“But I was going to surprise him when it’s all done. After this quarter I’m still going to have to take winter, spring, and summer quarter before I’m done with the high school completion program.”

“Then you’re just going to have to surprise him early then. You’re going to need to go to the campus those other quarters anyway during finals. It’ll be fine, Peter will be proud.” She pats him on the shoulder. “See you back at the office.”

“Bye.” Neal says absentmindedly as he is deep in thought.

*line break*

For the next week, Neal keeps making excuses on why he can’t go tell Peter about his classes. The next Monday as he’s in one of the old file rooms, Diana storms in and slams the door shut, leaving him trapped.

“Why haven’t you told Peter yet?” 

“I haven’t had the time.” Neal lies smoothly.

Diana calls him on it. “Bull.”

“No, it’s-”

Diana cuts him off. “Don’t you dare lie to me again, Caffrey. Now why haven’t you told Peter yet? Or are you chicken?”

Neal gets defensive at that. “No, I’m not.”

Diana smirks. “Then let’s go tell him.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” She grabs him by the arm and pulls him out of the file room.

“Ow.” He pulls his arm out of her grip.

“Baby.” She teases.

“You’re like an older brother I never wanted.” Neal says as he cradles his abused arm. “This is probably going to bruise.” He mutters to himself, poking where she had been gripping him the tightest.

She rolls her eyes. “And you’re like a little sister I never wanted.” She shoots back. They stop in front of Peter’s office. “In.” 

He opens the door and she gives him a little shove. He stumbles forward and Diana follows in after, closing the door and blocking it so Neal can’t try to run.

Peter watches the whole thing in silence. “May I help you two?” He finally asks when no one makes a move to speak first.

“Neal has something to tell you.” Diana blurts out.

Peter sighs and set his pen down. “What did you do, Neal?”

“Nothing! I just have to ask you something.” Neal pauses.

“Which is…” Peter urges Neal to talk. “Use your words, Neal.”

“I’ve been taking online classes to get my GED and I need you to take me to the campus on Thursday and Friday so that I can take all my finals.” Neal says in a rush.

“I know.”

Both Neal and Diana look shocked. “You know?!” They both exclaim at the same time.

Neal turns to Diana. “You promised you wouldn’t tell him!”

“Diana didn’t tell me anything so calm down.”

“Then how?”

Peter opens a drawer and pulls out ads and catalogs from the college. “I seem to be getting your mail. So I made a couple calls and found out that one Neal Caffrey seems to be enrolled.”

“Did you use FBI resources to spy on me?”

“No, that’s illegal and I could get fired for that. I just told them I’m your father. Once I supplied your social security number they told me all your classes.” Peter smiles. “The only thing I haven’t figured out is why you didn’t tell me in the first place.”

Neal sighs, shifting in place. “That just seems to be the question of the day.” He mutters. “I wanted it to be a surprise."

Peter smiles at Neal and Neal smiles back shyly. 

"The only thing I'm wondering," Diana breaks the moment. "Is why you wrote Peter's address instead of your own. You had to know that stuff would be mailed there."

Neal shrugs. "I figured Peter would just write it off as junk mail. Since the FBI doesn't pay me,” He shoots a glare at Peter. “I needed to sign up for financial aid and if I put down the address for June’s house my request would have been denied.” 

Peter stands up. “Well, now that that is settled, you two can get back to work.” Peter points at the two of them and puts his other hand on his hip. “And no more fighting.”

“She started it.” Neal points right at Diana.

“No way, Caffrey, you started this one.” Diana fires back.

“And I’m ending it.” Peter speaks over both of them. He starts to herd them out of his office. “Neal, stop teasing Diana. And Diana, stop taking Neal’s bait, you know he’s only after a reaction.” Peter turns back into his office. “I’m like a parent with a room full of children.” He mutters as he shut his door.

“We love you too, Dad!” Neal yells before the door shuts all the way. He turns to Diana and smiles. She just rolls her eyes and goes back to work without another word.

*line break*

An hour later Neal sighs in frustration and rolls over to Jones’ desk, who happened to be the closest to his. “Do you know much about biology?”

Jones gives Neal a confused look. “Not on the top of my head. Why?”

“I need to memorize all the parts of an animal and plant cell plus be able to name the function of each part.” At Jones’ still confused face, Neal clarifies further. “It’s for my final on Thursday. I am going to officially get a high school diploma by the end of summer.” Neal says proudly.

“Do you have any of the parts memorized yet?” Diana cuts in.

Neal acts insulted. “Of course I do!” He numbers them on his fingers as he names them. “The nucleus is the brain, the cell membrane is the wall thingy around the cell, and the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” 

Jones and Diana wait for Neal to continue. “That’s it?” Diana finally asks. Neal smiles sheepishly and shrugs. “You told me in the coffee shop that this stuff was easy.”

“It is. The math, english, and history parts at least. Chemistry would be pretty simple too since Mozzie taught me reactions for forgeries when I was younger, but I’ve never had to know the difference between an animal and plant cell, or the animal kingdom, or any of that stuff.”

“Do you at least know the six kingdoms of how life is classified?” Jones asks.

“I think fungi is one?”

Jones and Diana look at each other and groan in unison.

“What’s 23,890 times 44,903 equal?” Jones tries again.

Neal thinks for a second. “1,072,732,670.”

Jones shakes his head. “Dude, how can you have such a big gap of knowledge missing? Did you only go up to eighth grade or something?”

Neal smiles and does a small bow in his chair. “Middle school drop out, at your service.” Diana and Jones both look shocked, so Neal shrugs. “What can I say, middle school didn’t agree with me. And I’ve gotten by so far without the knowledge of plant cells.”

“Until now.” Diana points out with a grin.

“Until now.” Neal agrees. “Think Peter will know?”

“Think Peter will know what?” Peter himself asks from behind Neal.

“Do you happen to have a wide range of biology knowledge and willing to teach it to me by Thursday?”

Peter frowns. “Have you had since the beginning of October to memorize all this and waited three days before the final to do it?”

“If I say yes will you not help me? Because if that’s so then I’ve had it memorized the whole time.” Neal takes a sip of the coffee on his desk.

Peter groans. “Damn it, Neal. Okay, you two,” he points at Diana and Jones. “No more gossiping. Get back to work.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Neal, my office. And bring all your notes.” Neal nods and gathers all his things together. They both go up to Peter’s office. “Sit.” Peter points to the small, round table next to his desk and Neal obeys without question. “Now, you are about to partake in one of the oldest ways of studying for a final, flashcards.”

Neal blinks at him. “Seriously? Your big fancy way of studying is  _ flashcards _ ?”

“Have you ever studied for a final?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then you’re going to try it this way.”

Neal scoffs. “There is no way flashcards work  _ that  _ well. Did you use them in college? And at Quantico?”

“Yup.”

“And the whole Harvard crew out there? Did they use flashcards too?” Neal leans back in his chair and gestures to the agents in the bullpen.

“Come here.” Peter opens his door and addresses all the agents. Neal gets up while rolling his eyes and stands next to Peter. “Everyone that went to Harvard, would you please raise your hands.” Everyone raises their hands. “Okay, now keep your hand up if you had to use flashcards during your finals.” About one or two agents put their hands down, but the rest keep them raised. “Thank you.” They head back into Peter’s office and sit down in their respective seats. “Told you.” Is all Peter smugly says.

Neal sighs. “Fine, I’ll try making the flashcards.”

*line break*

Neal ends up using the flashcards, much to the amusement of Peter, for the next three days as he gets ready for his final. Thursday morning at seven he shows up at Peter’s house so Peter can take him to the campus.

“You ready?” Peter asks Neal in the car.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Which finals do you have again today?” Peter asks as he switches lanes.

“From eight thirty until ten thirty I have my timed essay, which will be a persuasive essay by the way.”

“So your reputation as a con man is riding on getting an A.”

“Exactly.” Neal says with a chuckle. “And after that from eleven until one I have my biology final.”

Peter pulls into a parking spot at the campus. “Your favorite subject. Do you feel like you studied enough?”

Neal grabs his messenger bag by his feet. “As well as I could.”

“Good luck then.” Peter reaches behind him and grabs the morning paper. 

Neal freezes before he opens the car door. “Wait, you’re staying here?”

“Yup.” Peter answers as he opens to the sports section. “Got a deviled ham and everything.” Peter sets the paper in his lap. “Oh, almost forgot,,” He reaches back again and grabs a brown paper bag. “El packed you a lunch. Some french name I can’t pronounce.”

“Peter, this is seriously embarrassing.”

Peter just picks up his paper again. “Technically I’m suppose to go in with you since this is out of your radius, but if you would rather do it that way…” Peter starts to slowly fold his paper as if to put it away.

“On second thought, this is fine!” Neal pushes back the sleeve of his hoodie. “Wow, look at the time! I should get going so I’m not late. Bye Dad, see you at one!” Neal rushes out of the car. He finds the classroom easily and takes a seat after signing in behind a couple other people who got there before him. Five minutes later he realizes what he said. He smiles after a moment of thinking it over.

*line break*

Monday morning Neal comes into the office beaming. 

“I’m guessing the finals went well.” Diana comments.

Neal sits down next to Diana’s desk. “They did. The grades were posted this morning and guess who got an eighty seven on their biology test?”

Diana holds her hand out to Jones. “Ha! Pay up, Jones.”

“Damn, Neal, I bet you could get an A.” Jones grumbles as he gives Diana a couple folded bills.

“Please,” Diana says while counting her money. “You bet someone could get an A in biology after just getting introduced to the subject three months ago. Even Neal can’t pull that off.”

“Hey!” Neal butts in. “I’m sitting right here you know.”

“I can see that.” Peter says as he walks by. “And yet you should be at your desk. Hop to it, kid.” Peter ruffles Neal’s hair as he walks pass.

“Peter!” Neal whines. “You messed up my hair.” Neal huffs as he tried to fix it while he heads back to his desk. Peter just continues to his office. He sits down at his desk and watches as Neal keeps trying to fix his hair. Peter finally cracks a smile and quietly laughes at his pseudo son’s antics. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is now the end of the backlog of fics for this series that I had from a few years ago. If anyone is still interested and reading this, I'm still taking prompt ideas.


End file.
